is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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