just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
