Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
only you would photoshop your dick
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
