I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize