what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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