i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
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Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
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All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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