Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
