yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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