Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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