Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
