Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
