Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
