how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
