How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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