I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
