weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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