just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
