Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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