he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
