I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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