I didn't shave. On purpose
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You made out with two different species that night
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
