mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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