can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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