I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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