Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We are all done wearing pants today
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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