Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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