3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
