We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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