ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
