As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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