I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
