K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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