I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
