I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
