I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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