Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize