he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
why is half of my head shaved?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
