i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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