How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize