i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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