Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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