She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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