it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
