He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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