Non-Jews are for practice
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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