Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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