Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  tie

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant? (1-401): tie http://tfl.nu/oumz
  Replies (30) Good night (552) Bad night (2324)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs http://tfl.nu/9vkb
  Replies (83) Good night (547) Bad night (9718) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Sacagawea was the original milf.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): Sacagawea was the original milf. http://tfl.nu/8vpz
  Replies (39) Good night (5097) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom? http://tfl.nu/y1hl
  Replies (26) Good night (1231) Bad night (7709) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate." http://tfl.nu/e62b
  Replies (11) Good night (6915) Bad night (916) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute. http://tfl.nu/0bii
  Replies (6) Good night (2696) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE. http://tfl.nu/pyvt
  Replies (38) Good night (7581) Bad night (855) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (971): Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin. http://tfl.nu/6hx6
  Replies (6) Good night (2122) Bad night (1558) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that http://tfl.nu/s246
  Replies (4) Good night (2789) Bad night (637) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm http://tfl.nu/rl73
  Replies (10) Good night (2356) Bad night (962) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs. http://tfl.nu/skdm
  Replies (6) Good night (527) Bad night (1355) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week. http://tfl.nu/bh6r
  Replies (4) Good night (752) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (228): We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver http://tfl.nu/kd5u
  Replies (4) Good night (1494) Bad night (299) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time. http://tfl.nu/w6xu
  Replies (7) Good night (1355) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Why is there broken glass in my purse?

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Why is there broken glass in my purse? (1-403): You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting http://tfl.nu/xg38
  Replies (3) Good night (378) Bad night (966)

Randomize