I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me