I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3