I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
23 People Confess The Lamest Things They’ve Ever Done To Fit In
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
These 27 Texts Prove Pets Make Better BFFs Than Humans
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?