The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?