Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab

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  (425): If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab http://tfl.nu/ezlg
  Replies (8) Good night (3128) Bad night (920)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"

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  (253): i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis" http://tfl.nu/kjwy
  Replies (12) Good night (7007) Bad night (780)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.

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  (919): My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq. http://tfl.nu/vzq9
  Replies (6) Good night (3577) Bad night (601)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.

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  (479): I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary. http://tfl.nu/vju6
  Replies (25) Good night (1151) Bad night (4677)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...

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  (561): Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend... http://tfl.nu/snfb
  Replies (23) Good night (1240) Bad night (4463)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.

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  (206): I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve. http://tfl.nu/axt4
  Replies (1) Good night (2151) Bad night (721)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.

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  (512): Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today. http://tfl.nu/jvq8
  Replies (8) Good night (1892) Bad night (628)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.

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  (313): Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins. http://tfl.nu/hjt3
  Replies (8) Good night (656) Bad night (1547)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?

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  (217): how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you? http://tfl.nu/250l
  Replies (1) Good night (485) Bad night (1344)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."

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  (613): We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet." http://tfl.nu/xflq
  Replies (3) Good night (1477) Bad night (718)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.

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  (602): The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier. http://tfl.nu/l0xp
  Replies (3) Good night (1019) Bad night (437)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.

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  (336): I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012. http://tfl.nu/82uc
  Replies (5) Good night (916) Bad night (407)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.

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  (720): A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively. http://tfl.nu/qap5
  Replies (1) Good night (410) Bad night (227)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf

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  (253): Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf http://tfl.nu/ir0h
  Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (182)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just vodka nap now...

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  (706): When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between (267): I just vodka nap now... http://tfl.nu/97w6
  Replies (1) Good night (437) Bad night (188)

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