I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"