Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
