well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
