How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
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The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
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You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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