It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
