My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
