My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My friends, they love my intelligence
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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