so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
