all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Randomize
