remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm too high and old for this...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
