I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
