So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
