The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
