Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize