Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
