dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
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I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
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I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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