hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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